Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
