Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
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Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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