Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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