Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
