This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
