Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
