I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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