apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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