just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
