She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
