just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
