never play flip cup with pint glasses
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
