My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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