It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
COCAINE IS GR8
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
