Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Randomize