If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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