It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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