all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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