What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
is wine microwaveable?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
