o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Randomize
