he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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