quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize