I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize