if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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