Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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