I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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