Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
