TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
