You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
