I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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