He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize