absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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