dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
