you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
