I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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