I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
