So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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