Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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