I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Randomize
