Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
