i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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