New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
