she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Im part way to drunk.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize