Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
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