we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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