you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
