Well douche your snatch and let's go!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
