A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
