Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
