So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
