Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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