Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
