The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
