Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
