there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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