Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
