google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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