well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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