sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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