On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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