idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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