He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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