I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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